Awaken the Darkness Page 14

  Well, that and the terrible condition he had been in after escaping and inexplicably ending up here would explain a lot.

  Her pulse ceased racing. “Stanislav—”

  He swung back toward her. “I thought that once my wounds healed, it would all come back to me. My past. Why I’m so different. Who the hell put me in the ground in your basement. But it just isn’t there. It should be. But it isn’t. I know I’m not at full strength—”

  Her eyes bugged. “Seriously? This is you when you’re not at full strength?”

  “But I’m getting there and… Something’s wrong. I should remember. I know I should. Everything within me is telling me I should have regained my memory. But I haven’t and—”

  Susan held up a hand to halt him and spoke softly. “It’s okay. It’s okay, Stan. It’s okay.”

  He shook his head, his expression anguished. “No, it isn’t. You fear me now. And without my memory, I have no way of assuaging that fear, of reassuring you.”

  Susan took a step toward him. “Read my emotions,” she requested, keeping her voice gentle in hopes of easing his agitation. “Do I fear you now?”

  He quieted. After a long moment, he said, “Yes.”

  She swore. “Okay, but not nearly as much, right?”

  The lines of strain that had formed near his eyes eased. “Right.”

  It was true. His dismay over her fearing him and his memory not returning had gone a long way toward reducing her fear. He wasn’t lying. His thoughts were chaotic, but those she picked up reflected his words.

  He shook his head and offered her a sad smile. “I’m still me,” he promised softly. “I’m still the man who peppered you with questions about your past and shared a bowl of popcorn with you while we bend-watched Stranger Things.”

  “Binge-watched.”

  “Binge-watched Stranger Things. I’m just…” He shrugged. “Bigger now.”

  She nodded. He actually kind of reminded her a bit of the girl from Stranger Things in that moment. Like El, he was lost, trying to find his way, and had special abilities that ordinarily would defy belief. And the knowledge that she feared him once more was killing him. She didn’t have to read it in his thoughts. It was all there in his glowing amber gaze.

  Taking a step forward, she held her arms out to him. “Come here.”

  She didn’t have to ask him twice. Closing the distance between them, he wrapped his strong arms around her and squeezed her close, lifting her feet off the floor.

  Susan slid her arms around his neck and held on tight.

  “Please don’t fear me,” he uttered hoarsely, burying his face in her neck.

  “I’ll try,” she promised, unwilling to lie and say she wouldn’t. She doubted this would be the last thing about him that would freak her out. “Just give me time to adjust, okay? Some of the things you can do may startle me, like the whole healing overnight thing, but—”

  “I would never hurt you, Susan. I vow it.”

  She tightened her hold. “I know.” Resting her head on his shoulder, she sighed. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  He shook his head. Several long moments passed while both calmed and just held each other. Every movement conveying his reluctance, Stanislav finally lowered her until her feet touched the floor, then stepped back.

  Susan stared up at him, stunned all over again by his new size. “Wow,” she declared with a grin, “you are freaking huge.”

  He laughed.

  Reaching out, she gave one of his biceps an experimental squeeze, then poked the hard muscles of his chest. “I like it. You wear it well.”

  Smiling, he shook his head. “You’re amazing.”

  His words made her want to hug him again. “And you’re delirious again,” she teased. “Probably from hunger. I’m guessing someone with that much muscle needs to put away a lot of food on a regular basis. Let’s go see about breakfast.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to go back to sleep?” he asked. “You only got three or four hours.”

  They had talked late into the night.

  She silently told herself to stop feeling all mushy whenever he showed concern for her. “I’m totally wired now and couldn’t sleep if I tried. Besides…” She gave him an apologetic look. “I would feel like I was sleeping with a stranger… again. I know you’re still you, but you look so different—”

  “That you need time to adjust.”

  “Yes. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You’re still here instead of running downstairs, screaming at the top of your lungs or calling 911. I’m fine with your taking time to adjust.”

  She eyed him curiously. “Do you need time to adjust?” How weird must it be to go from being dangerously underweight one day to being packed with heavy muscle the next?

  He glanced down at his arms and chest. “No. This feels normal to me. Or mostly normal. As I mentioned, I’m not yet at full strength.”

  She couldn’t seem to stop ogling him. “What must full strength look like?”

  He laughed.

  Susan ducked into the bathroom and changed out of her nightgown into comfy yoga pants and a tank top while Stanislav donned a new set of blacks.

  He looked good. Edible good. And judging by the amber glow that entered his eyes as his gaze swept from her head to her bare toes, he thought the same of her.

  He was so different from anyone she had ever met. And he was okay with her being different, something she had never found outside her own family. It was nice. And attracted her like candy attracted children.

  Susan hoped he would regain his memory soon, because she was becoming dangerously attached to him, peculiarities and all. She already felt closer to him than she had to the last man she had dated. So comfortable. Like they were old friends. And kindred spirits.

  If she allowed her feelings for him to deepen any more, finding out he was married could very well break her heart.

  Stanislav tried not to stare at Susan while the two of them prepared breakfast. He deeply regretted scaring her. He had been so fixated on healing and getting stronger so he could protect her if his enemies—whoever the hell they were—came looking for him that he hadn’t considered how the abrupt change in his appearance might frighten her.

  How kind and brave she was. Most people would’ve been out of the house in a trice and zooming down the driveway in their car if they were hit in the face with his oddities. But she had found the courage to stand her ground. And that warm, caring heart of hers continued to reach out to him.

  What a remarkable woman.

  “Am I keeping you from going to work?” he queried as he helped her make breakfast. He would hate to be responsible for her losing her job.

  “No. I work at home. I’m a writer.”

  Admiration filled him. “How fortuitous. I happen to love books.” He paused a moment, surprised to discover that about himself. Perhaps his memory was coming back to him? “What do you write?”

  “Medieval romance.”

  “May I read one?”

  “Really?”

  He nodded. “You seem surprised.”

  She shrugged. “Most people who don’t read romance novels assume they’re all sex and no substance.”

  He scoffed at the notion. “I can’t see you writing anything that lacked substance.”

  “Thank you.”

  “May I read one?” he requested again, curious about the tales she told.

  “Sure. I’ll get you one after we eat.”

  “Excellent.” Stanislav carried their plates to the table. When Susan followed with tall glasses of water, he drew out her chair for her.

  She smiled up at him. “Thank you.”

  Seating himself, he picked up the gargantuan sandwich on his plate and took a big bite. “Mmmm.” He had awakened ravenously hungry. Susan was right. He must need to put away a lot of calories at this weight.

  She chuckled. “I hope you don’t mind the sandwiches. I’ve never liked breakfast foods.”

&nbs
p; “It’s delicious,” he declared and once more had to struggle not to consume it too quickly.

  Susan’s sandwich was considerably smaller. While he devoured his, she toyed with hers more than she ate it.

  He let her emotions flow into him. “You’re worried.”

  “Yes.”

  He liked that she didn’t deny it or try to change the subject. “Is it me? Do I make you uneasy?”

  “No,” she swiftly denied. “I mean, the change in your appearance unnerved me at first. But I’m getting used to it now.”

  That was a relief. “Then what?”

  She sighed. “Do you think Henry, the security guy, will come back?”

  “Yes,” he responded without hesitation. “And he’ll bring friends.”

  “When?”

  “Soon. They believe you’re going out of town, so it could be as early as tomorrow.”

  “And you think they’re connected with whoever put you in the ground? You think they might be like those men in California?”

  “Yes.”

  “What are we going to do?”

  His heart did a funny leap at how naturally she linked the two of them together. “Is there a friend or family member who would be willing to take Jax for a few days?”

  “You’re afraid they’ll hurt him?”

  “Yes.”

  She nodded slowly. “My former next-door neighbor, Anna, will watch him for me. She adores him and volunteered to keep him for a couple of days while I moved.”

  “Can you take him to her today?”

  “Yes.”

  He studied her a moment, then asked carefully, “Any chance I could talk you into staying with her as well?”

  She scowled. “No.”

  Sensing the anger rising in her, he set what was left of his sandwich on his plate and took her hand. “I want you out of harm’s way, Susan.”

  “I’m not leaving you here all alone.” She seemed insulted that he believed she would.

  “I can take care of myself now.”

  “You said you aren’t at full strength.”

  “But I’m strong enough.” She had no idea just how powerful and fast he was. Even weakened as he had been the day before, he had run faster than the security guy’s van and had been able to move it while Henry was driving.

  “Strong enough to do what? What will you do if they come for you?”

  A heavy silence fell. He didn’t want to lie to her. Nor did he want to admit he intended to get information from the men through any means necessary, then kill them if they meant either him or Susan harm.

  “Stanislav?” she pressed when he remained quiet and guarded his thoughts. “Answer the question. What will you do if they come for you?”

  “Overpower them and elicit the information I need.”

  “Then what? You’ve already told me you don’t want the police involved. And I can understand why now that I see how different you are. Honestly, I don’t want them involved either, because I’m afraid they’ll find out about my telepathy.”

  “I wouldn’t tell them you’re telepathic,” he said with a scowl.

  “I know. But if they do a background check on me, they’ll find out about California, and… I just don’t want to do anything that might draw attention to that or to the people who tried to kidnap me. I don’t want to end up on their radar again.”

  He didn’t want her to either. They still didn’t know who those men were or why they hadn’t come for her after she’d moved.

  A thought occurred to him. “Do you write under your true name?”

  “No. I use a pseudonym. On the off chance that I hit the best-seller lists, I didn’t want my kidnappers to see my name.”

  His lips twitched. “Or their lovers to flash a cover of one of your books with your name on it in bold type?”

  “Exactly.” She gave his hand a squeeze. “What will you do once the security guy and his friends talk if you’re able to overpower them?”

  “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

  “If you come to it. People who break into houses are usually armed. How exactly do you plan to—?”

  “I can handle it.”

  She stared at him, her gaze piercing. “Because you were in the military. Or at least we think you were.”

  He shrugged. “I had a brief memory of being in a large battle, of holding my own, so…”

  “So you can handle yourself,” she finished for him. “Well, I can, too. I’m staying.”

  Since he could feel her determination, Stanislav didn’t bother to fight her on the issue. He would simply have to find a way to keep her safe. If that meant snapping the neck of every man who threatened them without extracting any information first, he would.

  He only hoped Susan wouldn’t turn away from him if—or when—he killed them.

  Susan left shortly thereafter to take Jax to Anna’s. She told her former neighbor the same thing she’d told Henry—that she was going out of town, couldn’t take Jax with her, and was reluctant to board him in a kennel. Anna was a real sweetheart, instantly offering to keep Jax for her and warning she just might spoil him so much that he wouldn’t want to go home again when Susan returned. Susan hated to lie to her friend but couldn’t very well tell her she needed to get Jax out of the house because she’d found a man with remarkable abilities buried in her basement and the two of them were preparing to combat those who had put him there.

  Just thinking about the upcoming confrontation made her stomach flutter with nerves. She couldn’t stop remembering the men Ted had introduced her to. The things she had seen in their minds. The experiments they had wanted to perform on her. The way they had tortured that other woman.

  If the men who were after Stanislav were in league with whoever had buried him in her basement, they were likely just as bad. Only a monster would have wounded him so severely, then buried him and left him to die or—if they’d believed he wouldn’t die—left him to suffer like that. No food. No water. Only the pain of his injuries to keep him company.

  Men like that would kill Stanislav if he didn’t cooperate.

  Men like that would take him by force and kill her if she tried to stop them.

  Why did people have to be so fucked up when it came to those who were different from them? If that weren’t the case, she and Stanislav could go to the police and wouldn’t have to deal with this themselves. They wouldn’t have to risk everything to protect themselves and learn the truth. Because she just didn’t foresee this going well and doubted Stanislav did either. He wouldn’t have asked her to stay away if he’d thought it would be easy.

  Susan made a couple of stops on the way home and loaded up on groceries. As she pulled into her driveway, she glanced at the bag on the passenger seat and felt dread pool inside her.

  The sun began to make its descent, dipping behind the trees and painting the clouds above with shades of pink and peach.

  Stanislav stepped out onto the front porch as she cut the engine.

  The dread in her stomach vanished. Not as a result of any manipulation on Stanislav’s part this time but because she was simply happy to see him. Her heart swelled. Something about finding him waiting for her when she got home—a soft smile lighting his handsome features as he descended the steps and strolled toward her, as sleek and graceful as a panther—made her wish for things she shouldn’t even be thinking about, not while he still had no memory.

  She opened her door.

  Stanislav offered his hand while she grabbed her keys and exited the small vehicle. “I missed you,” he said, his smile both affectionate and rueful as though he thought perhaps he shouldn’t admit it.

  She returned his smile. “I missed you, too.” She really had. It was a little scary that she had come to crave his company so quickly.

  He pressed a kiss to her knuckles, then released her fingers and opened the back door. “I see you went grocery shopping.” He filled his arms with bags, then headed for the front steps. When Susan started to gra
b a bag, he shook his head. “I’ll get those. You just keep me company. You’ve spoiled me. I really did miss you.”

  She laughed. “I wasn’t sure what foods you prefer.”

  “Anything you like is fine.”

  They made two more trips. Susan was both surprised and pleased when Stanislav didn’t just carry the bags in but also helped her empty them. By the time they finished, her refrigerator and freezer were so full she had to move things around a bit to get the doors to close. And the large walk-in pantry sported shelf after shelf of snack foods.

  “Looks like we missed one,” he commented while Susan washed her hands.

  Glancing over, she saw him nod toward the bag on the table in the breakfast nook. “That isn’t food.”

  “What is it?” he asked curiously. Had he caught the edge that had entered her voice?

  Susan dried her hands, uncertain whether he would approve or disapprove of her purchases. Crossing to the table, she removed the contents of the bag and arranged them on the table.

  He studied the two 9mms, the extra magazines, and the boxes of ammo stacked beside them. “You purchased weapons?”

  She nodded.

  “For me or for you?”

  “For you. I already have two of my own.”

  He opened the first gun’s case and palmed the weapon. “Do you know how to use them?” Ejecting the empty magazine, he opened a box of hollow-point bullets and began to load the mag with a deftness that left her with no doubt that he was very comfortable with guns.

  “Yes. My brother was in the army and took me to the firing range a lot.”

  “Was?”

  She nodded. “He was killed in Afghanistan.”

  He paused. “I’m sorry.”

  A familiar burning hit her eyes as tears blurred her vision. Swearing, she closed her eyes in hopes of keeping the tears from falling. “It was long enough ago that it shouldn’t still make me cry. I’m sorry.”

  A faint thunk reached her ears as he set the magazine down. The heat of his body reached her first. Then his hands cupped her face and tilted it up.